I don't know it's as straightforward as that, but then I don't know anything to begin with.

I had a relationship with one woman. We met the first week in college, quickly became inseparable, got married, had 5 children and 6 grandchildren, and then, one week after our 45th anniversary, she passed away due to liver disease.

We fell together because we had common interests and admired each other's intelligence. We stayed together because (a) we had become fiercely devoted to each other and (b) we were too stubborn to let all the things that happen in the course of a lifetime tear us apart, even when one or the other of us was the guilty party. At the time we met, I don't think we consciously thought about anything on your list, although maybe some if it was at work under the hood.

I find myself in a strange position now. I pretty much hate being alone, but I don't know the first thing about "finding someone." If I ever do, I think it will have to be as natural a thing as it was all those years ago. Not a seeking but a falling together. But it might not be that easy. I might be too hesitant to let it happen. For one thing, I'd want it to last. I'd want someone as willing to put up with my foibles as she was. From what I see in the world, that might be somewhat of a rarity. People treat relationships as disposable. To me, they shouldn't be. I don't mean people should suffer abuse, of course. That's a different matter. But none of us is perfect. We should be willing to forgive and help each other become better. That, I believe, is one foundation of a solid relationship.