Calling someone "king" or "queen" of something is a compliment. Yes, a gender-neutral word could be used--monarch--but how is saying that someone is at the top of their field at all a disparagement?

Admittedly, different people see things differently. I've come to realize that sometimes what I regard as a sincere compliment with no bias attached to it is viewed by others as extremely biased. (I was floored when I learned that many people of color regard being called "articulate" an insult. "Jim is articulate," is heard by me as saying "Jim expresses himself quite well. Few people can match him." But by some, it might be heard as, "Jim expresses himself quite well for a black person." Unfortunately if I happened to say that, in ignorance of how it would be heard, I would be branded as prejudiced or racist, when I meant nothing of the sort, not even unconsciously.

I have enormous respect for Agatha Christie, P. D. James, Martha Grimes, and other greats of the mystery field. I write mystery myself, and if even one of my works was compared semi-favorably to any of theirs, I would be ecstatic.

I wish we could get past this sense that compliments afforded women (or people of color, or any other designator) are backhanded. I guess maybe sometimes they are, but as witnessed by many of the comments on this article, a lot of us don't at all mean them that way and find it hard to fathom why anyone would see them that way. But we seem to be stuck with it, at least for some time to come. Maybe we can make some progress by (a) being sensitive to each other's backgrounds and (b) not automatically assuming the worst about each other.